


When Hope is Lost

by Proudmoore



Category: Star Trek: Alternate Original Series (Movies)
Genre: F/M, M/M, Reader Insert
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-21
Updated: 2018-11-21
Packaged: 2019-08-26 21:36:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,921
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16689313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Proudmoore/pseuds/Proudmoore
Summary: During the events of Beyond, you crash on Altamid with Spock and Bones.





	When Hope is Lost

You drag in a breath as lights around you flicker and die.  The sound of hissing fills your ears as some sort of a gas escapes through a crack in a pipe near where your head is wedged in a joint between the hull and deck plating of the craft you’re occupying.  Smoke curls in thick tendrils around you and you cough, shutting your eyes tightly and putting a hand over your mouth and nose in an attempt to wave away enough of the stuff to catch your breath.  
  
You grapple with memories of the events leading to the crash you’ve just suffered as you grope around in the darkness, hoping to find other signs of life – the lives of the two officers you’d plummeted to the ground with.  You remember being in an escape pod.  You remember the sounds of footfalls and phaser fire.  You remember a body colliding with yours – Dr. McCoy’s – and another one narrowly missing you.  
  
_Oh, God – Spock_.

You shift around some more, pushing yourself into a seated position, still feeling around for other bodies in the wreck. You’re both relieved and worried when you find no signs of either the Vulcan or the CMO, and you realize that if you don’t act quickly, you’re going to asphyxiate from the smoke and coolant aerosolizing into the compartment.  
  
As you test your limbs, thanking the stars that none of them seem to be banged up too badly, you hear voices just outside the shuttle.  They’re deep in hurried conversation and you recognize them as belonging to Spock and Dr. McCoy.  You can’t make out what they’re saying, but you’re relieved that they’re alright.  
  
Your relief doesn’t last long, however, as a bloodcurdling scream tears through the otherwise relative silence.  Your head snaps up and you hiss as it comes into contact with the shuttle’s console, the blow making you see stars.  The scream was Spock’s, you’re sure of it, and you find yourself flying into a complete panic as you wonder what’s happening.  
  
You shift around, realizing the reason you can’t make much headway in clambering out of the shuttle is because you’re pinned beneath the now-broken piloting station.  Wrenching around, you attempt to slide out from beneath the beam that’s lying across your legs but you don’t make much progress.  You’re just about to cry out for help when the smoke around you clears a little bit and a strong pair of hands grips your upper arms, stilling you and making you yelp in surprise.  
  
“I’ve got you,” Dr. McCoy assures you.  “Just relax and I’ll get you out of there.”  
  
You nod and do your best to calm down, groaning as he slips his hands under your arms and pulls you up just enough that you can get your knees out from beneath the beam that’s pinning them. Once they’re free, the rest is easy; you pull your legs up to your chest and slowly push yourself to your feet, ducking to avoid hitting your head as Dr. McCoy helps guide you out of the shuttle.  
  
“Are you hurt?”  He asks as he gives you a hand in climbing over the door frame.  
  
“I don’t think so,” you reply, dropping to the ground and stumbling a little before catching yourself on a nearby boulder. “Just a bit banged up.”  
  
Glancing around the craggy valley you’ve crash landed in, you finally lay eyes on Spock where he’s bleeding and leaning against the side of the shuttle.  Shaking off the CMO, you rush over to him, reaching out to put a hand on your shoulder both to steady yourself and to reassure him.  
  
“Oh my God,” you breathe as you take in the not insignificant gash on his side and all of the blood on his tunic.  “Are you okay?!”  
  
“I am in satisfactory condition,” Spock replies, but you notice he’s moved to cover the gash with his hand and hide it from your view.  “Are you wounded,  _Ashayam_?”  
  
“I’m fine,” you insist, repeating what you’d told Dr. McCoy.  
  
“I would feel better if you allowed the doctor to assess you,” Spock countered.  “You could easily have sustained internal injuries in the crash and the adrenaline in your system may be masking them.”  
  
“While I don’t disagree with you, Spock, I think we ought to find some shelter first,” the CMO interjects, earning himself a long-suffering look from you.  “We’re sitting ducks out here.  I don’t like it.”  
  
You nod and glance up at Spock again.  
  
“He’s right,” you agree.  “We need to get to safety, then we can think about our next move.”  
  
“Agreed,” Spock relents, pushing himself up off the side of the shuttle and taking a shaky step forward.  
  
You move in, slipping underneath his arm and slinging it over your shoulders to help keep him stable as Dr. McCoy does the same on the other side.  Together, the three of you glance around and choose to head in what you believe is an eastward direction.  You don’t see any signs of other escape pods or alien craft having crashed anywhere nearby and you begin to wonder for the first time exactly where you are and how you’re going to contact the Enterprise, assuming there’s anything left of it.  
  
The three of you wander down the valley for a while, looking for shelter so you can be a little more out of the way and in relative safety before hunkering down to consider your next move.  After a few failed attempts to hail the ship and a bit of hiking and scrambling over rocks – which has been made easier since Spock has recovered enough strength to walk unaided – you come across a network of caves that look more promising than anything you’ve seen so far.  At the sight of the caves, Spock lurches forward unsteadily, nearly falling before catching himself on a rock.  You rush over to him to help support him once more as the doctor admonishes him.  
  
“Take it easy there, Spock,” he grouses. “That was just a temporary fix back there.”  
  
Spock nods and you make a mental note to ask the CMO exactly what he means by temporary fix later on.  You have no idea what happened with the two of them before you’d been pulled from the shuttle, but you do intend to find out.  
  
“I understand, Doctor,” the Vulcan acknowledges before starting forward again with your help.  
  
The two of you, with Dr. McCoy in tow, round a bend and come across a ground level entrance to the caves.  You’re forced to duck as some small birdlike creatures flee the caves at the sound of company and you straighten again once they’ve cleared, considering the passage before you.  
  
“Fascinating,” Spock murmurs.  
  
“Ominous, dark, dangerous,” Dr. McCoy chips in, clearly displeased.  
  
If Spock hears him, he doesn’t acknowledge it. Instead, he simply presses forward, taking the first step toward the cave entrance with you at his side.  
  
“We’re going,” the doctor says – a statement, not a question, tone dripping with exasperation.  
  
The three of you make your way into the cave and you’re pleased to find that enough light to see by filters in through openings higher up in what appears to be some sort of an atrium with an altar of sorts at its center.    
  
A grunt of pain from Spock returns your attention to him and you move quickly to settle him into a seated position with his back against one of the cave’s walls.  You kneel at his side and reach out, gently pressing a hand to his shoulder in reassurance.  You know it’s illogical to him, but it makes you feel better – like maybe, just maybe, you’re helping in some small way.  
  
“Are you alright?”  You ask, searching his features for any flicker of discomfort.  
  
“I remain in adequate condition,” Spock says in what you’re sure is meant to be a reassuring way.  
  
“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that?” Dr. McCoy interjects, coming to kneel on Spock’s other side and getting to work on a quick assessment.  
  
As he works, you shift around and settle on the floor next to Spock, your back against the wall, your hand splayed on his thigh.  The doctor’s noises of displeasure briefly catch your attention but just as quickly he’s reassuring you that Spock is stable, if not in the best condition.  
  
“All we can do is wait now,” the CMO determines with a sigh, moving to join the two of you against the cave wall.  
  
You stare at the ceiling as the minutes and hours crawl by, your eyes taking in every letter of whatever alien alphabet adorns the ceiling and walls of the space you’re in.  The silence is nice for a while, but it all too quickly gets to be too much as thoughts of what’s happened to the Enterprise and its crew begin to take dark turns and force your heart to start galloping uncomfortably in your chest.  
  
“So,” you start awkwardly, swallowing thickly as you snap out of your reverie.  “Anything new and exciting to report?”  
  
Silence passes between the three of you for a moment before Dr. McCoy breaks it.  
  
“There’s a Denobulan flu going around that’s starting to affect the human crew, too,” he offers.  “I expect to see you in the med bay as soon as we’re back on the ship so I can administer a vaccine.”  
  
You laugh humorlessly.  
  
“Do you really think there’ll be a ship to go back to?”  You ask, your voice hollow.  
  
“I’ve got too much unfinished business on board for there not to be,” he replies.  “Hell, I was going to propose to Jim on our next shore leave.  I refuse to believe that this is how it ends.”  
  
Spock chuckles softly at his words.  The sound is so uncharacteristic that it turns both of your heads and sends Dr. McCoy’s eyebrow creeping up toward his hairline.  
  
“Spock?”  You ask warily.  
  
“My apologies, Y/N,” Spock says lightly. “I am simply amused by how timely Dr. McCoy’s proposal is.  The captain will undoubtedly need the levity after I deliver some personal news.”  
  
“What kind of personal news?”  You press.  
  
He looks up to meet your eyes and you swear you see apology in his gaze as he reaches out to take your hand.  It’s an intimate gesture for a Vulcan and all of a sudden your heart’s racing away again as you consider how bad the news must be if the usually stoic Vulcan feels the need to cushion the blow with such a display of affection.  
  
“I have recently been informed of Ambassador Spock’s passing,” he begins.  
  
As you listen to the story, pay witness to the depth of feeling that Spock had for the ambassador, your heart absolutely splinters apart.  You know that he’s hurting even if he won’t show it, and even Dr. McCoy is humbled enough by his words to get out a genuine, empathetic apology.  Your heartbreak for him does nothing to soften the blow that comes a moment later, however, when he explains that in light of Ambassador Spock’s demise, he is going to be leaving the Enterprise to continue the elder Vulcan’s work.  
  
“When were you going to discuss this with me?” You ask.  
  
Dr. McCoy shrinks back a little at your tone, averting his gaze and clearing his throat awkwardly, undoubtedly wishing he was anywhere else but within earshot of the conversation at hand.  
  
“I was going to discuss it with you as soon as this mission was over,” Spock explains.  
  
You fall silent, averting your gaze, chewing on your lip as your thoughts race by at warp speed.  Spock leaving the Enterprise.  Spock going to assist in the repopulation of the Vulcan species. Spock going to be with his own people, in his own culture, away from humans, from human fickleness and emotion.  Away from  _you_.  
  
“I’m not going to say that you can’t go or that I want to stand in your way,” you say evenly once you’re ready to speak again.  “All I ask is that you consider my feelings in all of this; consider us and what this means for our relationship.  I don’t want an answer right now, but I need to know where you stand.  I need to know what we mean to you.”  
  
“Very well,” Spock says lightly with a polite incline of his head.  “I assure you that I will have an appropriate response prepared for you upon some more reflection.  Just allow me to reassure you now,  _Ashayam_ , that no amount of time or distance could ever lessen the depth of my feelings for you.”  
  
His words are a bit of a balm on your suddenly-frayed nerves, though you try not to let yourself hope that he’s willing to maintain a long distance relationship too much just yet.  To be entirely truthful, you’re not sure how you feel about that sort of an arrangement yourself.  It’s easy enough to live without sex for long periods of time, but you’re not sure missing his companionship – however distant and dispassionate it may be sometimes – will be as easy to weather.  
  
“McCoy to Enterprise,” the doctor’s voice suddenly interrupts your thoughts, and you realize he’s moved to the mouth of the cave to try his communicator again.  
  
Pulling yourself out of your reverie, you stretch a little and grimace from the stiffness in your muscles and bones.  You realize belatedly that Spock’s hand had come to rest on your neck some time during your contemplation and you close your eyes and bask in the feeling of his long, slender, skilled fingers gently kneading at the tension beneath them.  You thank him wordlessly, squeezing his thigh where your hand is resting on it as you turn to look at Dr. McCoy.  
  
“You won’t have any luck from in here,” you explain.  “We’ll need to try our luck outside again.”  
  
Moving reluctantly away from Spock, you get to your feet and brush off your uniform dress.  Shaking out your legs, you make your way over toward Dr. McCoy and glance outside.  It’s still plenty light out and with so much sunshine to see by, you figure now is as good a time as any to head back into the valley and try to get a message out.  
  
“I’m going to go try from out there,” you insist.  “Maybe try to get to higher ground.”  
  
“I’m coming with you,” Dr. McCoy says firmly, but you shake your head.  
  
“You need to stay and watch Spock,” you argue.  
  
“That will not be necessary,” Spock says coolly, his voice much closer than expected.  
  
Looking over your shoulder, you realize he’s on his feet and heading toward you, one hand clamped over his injury in an obvious attempt to control the pain he’s undoubtedly feeling.  He’s moving slowly but surely and you sigh, knowing you’ve lost the fight before it’s even begun.  
  
“Alright, we’ll all go,” you say flatly. “But you’re going to take it easy, and Dr. McCoy is going to stay close to you.”  
  
Both men nod in agreement with your words and you take a deep, steadying breath before stepping forward, making your way out of the cave.  You can hear the two of them shuffling along behind you and you maintain a good pace, leaving a little bit of room between you.  As you hike, you stop here and there to attempt contact, feeling your hopelessness and frustration ratcheting up with every failure to receive a reply.  
  
As you take your comm away from your mouth for what feels like the hundredth time, you hear the sound of some sort of a craft cutting through the air.  Glancing around frantically, you feel panic well up in your chest as the same sorts of shuttles that the three of you had crash landed in fly in low overhead and begin to circle the three of you.  You know they’ve spotted you and with Spock in poor condition – now being led along by Dr. McCoy – you know you’ll never make it to safety before they close in.  
  
“Run, Y/N,” Spock calls to you from several yards away.  
  
“I’m not leaving you!”  You yell back, and you can tell by the expression on Dr. McCoy’s face that he’s not going anywhere, either.  
  
“You have the best chance of survival,” Spock argues.  “If you run back the way we came, you may be able to find a suitable hiding place in time.”  
  
“Not a chance,” you shoot back with a firm shake of your head.  
  
Just as the three shuttles encircle your little group, you watch in mingled surprise and horror as a cloud of white and gold static envelops Spock.  He disappears in the flurry of the transporter beam within moments, and before Dr. McCoy can so much as react, he’s swept up, too, leaving you alone in the clearing.  
  
Reaching for your phaser, you pluck it off of your belt and hold it up in front of you, pointing it at the shuttle hovering nearest to you.  It’s futile, you know, but you’d rather go down fighting than surrender to death. You’re ready to pull the trigger when suddenly, the same gold and white light that spirited Spock and Dr. McCoy away envelops you.  You gasp in shock, take a deep breath, close your eyes, and wonder what’s waiting for you on the other side as you’re swept up and disassociated into nothing but the building blocks of your being.


End file.
